Is it a female thing or just a me thing that I jump to conclusions, to the worse case scenario? A friend asked me today, "What's the best case and worse case?" I answered worse case first, with all the gory details and must have talked for five minutes, and then best case which only took one or two minutes to report. Why, why do I choose to live in the frustration and pain of the worse case scenario? Several years ago as my grandmother was dieing and my girl cousins and I kept a night vigil while our moms went home and didn't sleep, I somehow determined that I did not want to live like the Israelites. They must have had the WORST memories in all of history. I would embrace the blessings, remember them, proclain them; I would not dwell in the desert. In fact over the years I have made it a little of a mantra, "I will not be like the Israelites, I will not be like the Israelites." But my mantra fails in those moments when the worse case scenario looms large.
But I'm trying. This time, I chose a new a mantra, "I will trust, and I will not be afraid. I will trust and I will not be afraid." When doubt crept in, I whispered, "I will trust and I will not be afraid." When fear snickered I repeated, "I will trust and I will not be afraid." When scenes rolled behind my closed eyes I spoke, "I will trust and I will not be afraid."
I will trust and I will not be not be afraid.
1 comment:
I do the same thing! Sometimes, it is a preparation thing, meaning I go through the scenario hoping for the best but prepared for the worst. Most of the time it's a negative quality that can hold me back.
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